Not becoming. UNbecoming.
A path built for stillness,not spectacle.
This isn't about escaping your life. It's about removing the operation running underneath it.
- Prepare
- Interrupt
- Integrate
You are not preparing for a trip
You are preparing to have something removed.
What happens on the mat is one day out of four months. A month of preparation before it. Three months of integration after it. The day is the shortest part, and on its own it is worth very little.
This is not a one-off event. It is a protocol, and the protocol is what you are enrolling in.
Creating the ground
One month. Before you go anywhere near the molecule.
Medical intake and eligibility
A licensed physician conducts the intake conversation and determines whether you are cleared. Not us. Him. Some people are not eligible and are told so.
One-on-one preparation
Sessions with a licensed clinical therapist, working through the material that would otherwise surface on the day with nowhere to go.
Nervous-system preparation
Interoceptive acceptance, somatic settling, and resonance breathing — practices that train your system to stay open while its own alarms are firing. This is trainable. It is the difference between meeting the state and fighting it.
You will also be given daily practices drawn from mindfulness-based cognitive therapy, plus audio and written material. They take seven to twelve minutes a day. People who do them have a different day than people who don't.
- Practices
- Audio
- Screening
- Clearance
A regulated system meets the state. An unregulated system fights it. The month before is what determines which of those happens on the day.
The Day
One day. Kelowna, BC.
- A private, one-on-one 5-MeO experience in Kelowna, BC. No stimulation, no ritual, no performance.
- Up to two people are on site on a given day. You will never share the room and you will never share the experience. You will share the preparation and the debrief, and you will probably be glad you did.
- The day is a Friday. You have Saturday and Sunday before anything is asked of you.
- Not a peak state. Not a ceremony. For a few minutes, the assumption that there is a you in here and a world out there stops running. Nothing is added. Nothing is repaired.
- Two facilitators, present the entire time. At the doses we work with you cannot speak or signal, so one attends to your body and one attends to you. Neither of us is ever the only person watching.
What the day looks like
- Sixty to ninety minutes of preparation and orientation. Body movement, guided breathwork, an awareness practice. Nothing you haven't done before, done in a specific order for a specific reason. If a second person is on site that day, this part is shared.
- One-on-one, with both Nicholas and Fehren present. One of us is watching your body. One of us is watching you.
- We use pharmaceutical-grade, lab-purity-tested synthetic 5-MeO-DMT, administered in a highly calibrated, minimal-dose format, in the staged sequence described below.
- A two-hour window is allocated to the experience. Each administration's acute effects last ten to thirty minutes; most of that window is not the molecule, it is the room and the two people in it. Then at least ninety minutes of reflection and debrief before anyone goes anywhere.
What the next few days cost
Most people are flattened afterward. Not emotionally — physically. Deep fatigue, long sleep, and no appetite for the things that normally fill a day. It usually takes the rest of the weekend. This is not the molecule, which clears fully within the hour. It is a nervous system recalibrating.
That is why the experience is on a Friday, and why the accommodation we provide runs Thursday to Sunday. Thursday is the latest we suggest you fly in. Sunday is the earliest we suggest you fly home — whether or not you stay with us.
Noise is the common one. Music, television, anything running in the background can be genuinely difficult for a few days. It passes.
Up to four administrations, in three stages
Each stage is assessed before the next. We do not begin at the top of the dose range and hope. A fourth administration is sometimes given — a repeat of an earlier stage, or a stronger version of the third. It is never assumed, and most days do not need it.
Acclimation
A low dose. The body meets the state without having to fight it first.
Fundamental Awareness
The core dose. The assumption underneath the self stops running.
Catharsis
Some systems discharge — shaking, movement, sound. Some don't. Neither is a sign of anything.
What makes this container different
- You are never rushed and never alone. Nobody else is in the room, and nothing about the day is on a clock that isn't yours.
- No chanting. No ritual. No dogma. Nothing in the room is there to make the day feel like something.
- We remain in the room the entire time. Physical contact happens only where you have consented to it in advance, in writing, during preparation — because at the doses we work with, you cannot consent in the moment.
- You will receive guidance only as needed — no projections, no frameworks, and no pressure to interpret what occurs.
The two of us
Present the entire time. One attends to your body. One attends to you.
What you may experience
We did not build this to offer an experience. We built it so that what happens on the day survives contact with the rest of your life.
- The sense of being a self, located somewhere, looking out — briefly absent
- No imagery. No narrative. Nothing to interpret afterward
- Physical discharge in some people: shaking, movement, sound
- Time and space not distorted, but suspended
- No memory of it in the ordinary sense, and no way to describe it
- Afterward, a different relationship to the stories you have been carrying
None of these is the goal. We are not collecting experiences. We are removing an operation.
You will never be left alone. You will never be pushed. You will never be told what your experience should be.
This is not a psychedelic trip. Nothing is shown to you. Something stops running, and for a few minutes you are not there to notice it stop.
The day is also not therapy. Nothing is processed, interpreted, or worked through on the mat. That comes afterwards, with a clinician.
You may not be able to describe what happened. Most people can't.
Then the three months of application begin.
What happens for three months
Six phases. Weekly one-on-one sessions, every one of them mandatory.
The day opens a window of neuroplasticity. It closes. What gets built inside it is the only thing that lasts, and building it takes three months.
This is the part everyone else skips. It is also the part you are paying for.
Stabilisation
Daily contact. Four things confirmed each day: you are sleeping, you are eating, you know where you are, and you have made no decision you cannot reverse. Nothing is interpreted yet. A walk outside, and that is all that is asked of you.
Containment
One clinical session. Beforehand you listen back to your own recording of the day, and the session stays with what happened rather than what it meant. Meaning made too early buries the material that matters.
Processing
Weekly, one-on-one. The method is chosen after the day rather than before it, by what actually surfaced. There is no standard curriculum, because there is no standard day.
Translation
Weekly, on the gap between knowing and doing. One change a week, run in your actual life, reviewed the following week and adjusted. This is where most integration ends and where most of it fails.
Consolidation
What specifically destabilises you. The practice you will actually keep, rather than the impressive one you won't. Who you call. Written down.
Contemplative coaching
Weekly sessions with Charok Lama Rinpoche (Ngawang Rigdzin Gyatso Rinpoche). Not more technique — this is where the insight has to touch ground and stay there. It ends on a date rather than fading out.
The gates
You do not advance because four weeks have passed. You advance because a clinician has assessed that you are ready to.
Between every phase there is a gate. If you are not ready, the phase extends. If something is wrong, you go back to the physician and the clinical work continues rather than handing you on.
Time is not the qualification.
Who holds it
Fehren through the first phase. Our clinical team through the four that follow. Charok Lama Rinpoche through the last. The physician who cleared you stays reachable throughout.
Our clinicians are not named here, for the same reason our physicians are not: they prefer it, and their credentials are available on request during intake.
Without integration, the day becomes a story you tell. An interesting thing that happened to you once. It is the reason this protocol is four months and not one.
The investment
$7,500 USD
The full four-month protocol. One month of preparation. One day. Three months of weekly one-on-one integration.
A $500 deposit covers intake and the eligibility assessment with our physician. If he does not clear you, you do not proceed, and the deposit is partially refunded — you will have spent a fraction of the price finding out.
Payment plans and financing are available. Accommodation, Thursday to Sunday. Included on most dates and confirmed when your day is scheduled. Travel is not included, and extending either end is yours to arrange.
Who this is for
Not everyone is eligible, and not everyone is at this point in the work.
- Have done the work — years of it — and found that it did not reach the thing
- Or have nothing unresolved at all, and want to see what a life that is working is standing on
- Are looking for clarity, not relief
- Are prepared to stop managing the situation for a few minutes
- Are emotionally and physically stable
- Want the operation removed, not the experience collected
- In active psychological crisis, or who need trauma therapy — this is not that, and it is not a substitute for it
- Taking MAOIs, SSRIs, SNRIs, tricyclics, or lithium
- With significant cardiac disease, arrhythmia, or uncontrolled hypertension
- With a personal or first-degree family history of schizophrenia or bipolar I
- Who are pregnant
- Looking for a peak experience without the four months around it
- Who have not been cleared by our physician
The full list is on harm reduction.
What's included
- Private 1-on-1 5-MeO session with both facilitators present
- Full screening process and preparation protocol
- 1-on-1 preparation calls
- Three months of weekly integration, one-on-one, with mandatory clinical sessions
- Accommodation, Thursday to Sunday, on most dates, confirmed when your day is scheduled
Is this right for me?
You may not know. Neither do we, yet. The application takes ten minutes, and it is followed by a conversation — to ask your questions and to work out whether this fits. There is nothing to risk: the only next step is a conversation.
Application, then a conversation. Medical screening comes after that.