You will not be improved here.Three months in total.
- Sequence
- Interrupt
- Integrate
- Three Months
The sequence
Suffering is not caused by what happens to you. It is generated by an operation running underneath what happens to you, and the operation runs in a fixed order.
- 01
Separation
There is a me in here and a world out there. You did not decide this. It was installed so early it does not feel like an assumption. It feels like reality.
- 02
Identity
Because I am separate, I have to be someone. Capable enough, successful enough, worth keeping. For a high performer this is not occasional. It is a full-time background process, and every success reinforces it while every failure threatens it.
- 03
Meaning-making
Events arrive with no label attached. The identity cannot leave them that way. It interprets, evaluates, defends, continuously and without pause, whether or not anything is happening.
Exhaustion, when it comes, is not from your life. It is from the operation running underneath it.
Every tool you have been handed works on the second or third link. Better beliefs, better habits, a better story about the past. They improve the identity, or they improve what the identity does with events. Neither touches the assumption that made the identity necessary.
The experience interrupts the sequence at the first link. Integration works it backwards.
What we tried first
For the first while there was no integration at all. The day happened, people went home, and we followed up — casually at first, then in a more structured way. Six months out, with nothing in place after the day, about half the people we spoke to were living as though the day had not happened.
That number is the reason everything after the day exists.
The first attempt at fixing it ran six months. Daily practice, the same neurotechnology we were then using before the day, supplements, a great deal of structure. Most people who started it did not finish, and the ones who dropped out did so early. We had built something so demanding that the people who needed it most were the least able to complete it.
So we took things out. The technology went and the supplements went, and what remained was four months of one-on-one work with a loose arc, shaped by whichever integration lead you happened to be working with. That was better, and it still had a hole in it. People moved between several leads, the shape was different each time, and the relationship that does most of the work never formed.
What we have now is one month of preparation, the day, and eight weeks with a single integration lead who carries the whole arc. Five phases, gated on assessment rather than on the calendar. It is shorter than every version of integration that preceded it, and it is the first one most people finish.
This is different
Other psychedelics work on the second link. They give you distance from the identity, insight into it, a new way to narrate it. That is real, and for some people it is enough.
5-MeO works on the first link. For a few minutes, the assumption that there is a you in here and a world out there stops running. Nothing is added. Nothing is repaired.
This is not a therapeutic model, and nothing here is being treated. The operation is interrupted, and the eight weeks afterwards are what stop it reinstalling itself quietly.
We don't promise healing.
We are not going to tell you what this will do for you. We do not know, and anyone who tells you they do is guessing at best.
What we can describe is what we do. A physician decides whether you are eligible. A month of preparation. A day, held by two people, one of whom is watching your body while the other is watching you. Eight weeks of integration afterward, because the change that lasts is built in the months after, not in the minutes during.
This isn't a trip, and there is no promise attached to it.
A Three-Month Container
A deep experience without integration is stimulation. It becomes a story you tell about a day you had. Three phases.
Preparation
One month. Medical intake and eligibility, determined by a licensed physician. Psychological readiness assessment. Nervous-system preparation, including practices that train your system to stay open while its own alarms are firing. Sessions with a licensed clinical therapist, who is preparing you rather than treating you.
The Experience
One day. Private, one-on-one, two facilitators. Sixty to ninety minutes of preparation, roughly two hours for the experience, then at least ninety minutes of reflection and debrief. A registered nurse on site or available, at the physician's determination.
Integration
Eight weeks. Weekly one-on-one integration, every session mandatory. This is the phase everyone else skips, and it is the reason most psychedelic experiences become an anecdote instead of a change. The experience opens a window. Integration is what gets built inside it.
What else is different
Never a Group Experience.
Up to two people are on site on a given day. You will never share the room and you will never share the experience.
You may share the morning. Preparation and the debrief afterward are done together, because two people who arrived at the same place by different routes have more to say to each other than either has to us.
A group experience is cheaper to run and easier to fill. It also means someone else's crisis is in the room while you are unable to speak. We have never done that. We are not going to.
Awareness, Not Escape
Most psychedelic use is additive. More content, more imagery, more material to interpret. It feels like insight and it functions like accumulation — one more experience for the identity to file. This one removes. There is nothing to see, and nothing to bring back.
Two People. Always.
At the doses we work with, you cannot speak, signal, or tell us what is happening. So there are two of us. One attends to your body. One attends to you. Neither of us is ever the only person watching.
A Known Dose
Toad secretion contains 5-MeO alongside bufotenin and other alkaloids, in proportions that vary from animal to animal. Synthetic is one compound at a known concentration, which is the only way a physician can clear a dose and the only way a staged sequence can be calibrated against anything.
The species and the communities around it are under pressure from exactly this practice.
There is no shortcut. There is a sequence, and there is a way to interrupt it.